I'm done writing my grant! Now I just have to wait for my mum to come pick me up so I can buy five blank videotapes. I have to get my support material together, and it's going to take me too long to get it together to burn 5 dvds. Tomorrow I'm off to Vancouver for an interview with Storytellers In Motion. I'm pretty stoked about it. I haven't been to Vancouver in two years, not that I will be there for very long. I'm back home on Wednesday night.
I really hope I get this grant. I am just going from grant to grant these days, which I guess is the life of an artist. But I won't be able to apply for another Canada Council grant until I am done this video. I'm excited about this grant though, it really seems like it would be fun to work on. Well, all my videos are fun to work on. It's just something I like doing.
I think I will still always make short videos without grants though, as long as I have access to the equipment. It's good for me to be able to make something without relying on the green light. It means I can experiment with ideas.
I'm excited about going to Vancouver. I also applied for a travel grant to go to Toronto, but I haven't heard back about it yet. I imagine by the time I get back from Vancouver I will know.
I have to remember to bring photos of myself as a child to this thing. Right.
It's kind of funny that most of my videos are still in analogue form. I should really update. My goal is to make a complete DVD of all my works. At 14 videos over a period of 13 years, it's kind of a lot to handle.
Sunday, September 28, 2008
Friday, September 26, 2008
This Damnable Blog!
I am working on my next grant. And I still have grant writer's block. What the hell. It think I wrote ONE new paragraph this afternoon thus far. And I have at least two more pages to go. Fuck! I sometimes hate writing. Someone once said (and I paraphrase) writing is sitting down to a pad of paper and concentrating until blood pours out of your forehead, and it's true!!! It's brutal sometimes. So why am I writing in this blog for fun? I don't know. Maybe because this is where I can be silly and write whatever I want. Whereas a grant, I have to be very clear and specific about what I intend to do with the money.
Today I had to pick up tapes, and it took forever. I didn't get together with Mum until about 4:20 (ha ha I know) and then it took us ages to get over the bridge because of an accident. I'm not kidding, it took half an hour to get over the brudge. But we made it to Media Group five minutes before closing so I could get my tapes. And I was close to giving up, in tears!
But I got my tapes!
Now I just have to sort myself out more.
I've made fourteen videos now and the battered compilation tape I had has gotten legs and walked off. So getting my whole collection together is kind of a pain in the ass. I should be better organized, but some of my stuff has been in storage and it's moved around a lot too.
I AM getting organized though, and that must surely count for something!
My mom used to tell me to talk to my mental health professionals about being messy and disorganized, so I did and they told me some people are just messy.
See! I told you mom!
Anyway, I have to burn 5 DVD's of two videos this weekend, and I have to finish writing my grant, and I have to do laundry, and I have to clean my apartment. And yet tonight I am going out to an opening. And still oddly enough, I am still pecking at this damnable blog!
Today I had to pick up tapes, and it took forever. I didn't get together with Mum until about 4:20 (ha ha I know) and then it took us ages to get over the bridge because of an accident. I'm not kidding, it took half an hour to get over the brudge. But we made it to Media Group five minutes before closing so I could get my tapes. And I was close to giving up, in tears!
But I got my tapes!
Now I just have to sort myself out more.
I've made fourteen videos now and the battered compilation tape I had has gotten legs and walked off. So getting my whole collection together is kind of a pain in the ass. I should be better organized, but some of my stuff has been in storage and it's moved around a lot too.
I AM getting organized though, and that must surely count for something!
My mom used to tell me to talk to my mental health professionals about being messy and disorganized, so I did and they told me some people are just messy.
See! I told you mom!
Anyway, I have to burn 5 DVD's of two videos this weekend, and I have to finish writing my grant, and I have to do laundry, and I have to clean my apartment. And yet tonight I am going out to an opening. And still oddly enough, I am still pecking at this damnable blog!
Tuesday, September 23, 2008
Swimming in footage
I'm listening to this song these days:
I'm absolutely swimming in video footage. I don't know where to start! It's crazy, absolutely crazy. I ordinarily love editing, but yeah, it's pretty common for me to sit down and feel lost. It's such a crazy process, making videos and films. What I should really be doing is making more sequences with the various pieces that I will eventually put together.
I finally got it together to put the rhino video on my facebook. So there it is! I will eventually put it on Youtube I hope.
I am crazy. I've realized I talk to myself an awful lot, not so much in public, but I just mutter to myself throughout the day. Is that normal? I don't know.
My quitting smoking is still going well. I'm starting to not think about it at all! It's definitely an improvement. I'm about to go off Step 2 for Step 3. And then I'm done! So exciting!
Hey, this is my video!
I'm absolutely swimming in video footage. I don't know where to start! It's crazy, absolutely crazy. I ordinarily love editing, but yeah, it's pretty common for me to sit down and feel lost. It's such a crazy process, making videos and films. What I should really be doing is making more sequences with the various pieces that I will eventually put together.
I finally got it together to put the rhino video on my facebook. So there it is! I will eventually put it on Youtube I hope.
I am crazy. I've realized I talk to myself an awful lot, not so much in public, but I just mutter to myself throughout the day. Is that normal? I don't know.
My quitting smoking is still going well. I'm starting to not think about it at all! It's definitely an improvement. I'm about to go off Step 2 for Step 3. And then I'm done! So exciting!
Hey, this is my video!
Adjustments?
My psychiatrist had some kind of skiing accident and has been away for a long time. I've been back to my g.p., but lately I've been wondering if I'm fine. I think I need to make new adjustments to my meds, but I'm not sure if that's true. And now I've realized I've just gotten so used to checking in with a doctor about my condition that I have no idea how I really am. I think I've been doing well, but it's hard to get up in the morning early. And that worries me. Plus I've commonly had fall depressions, and I think subconsciously I'm worried about that coming up again.
Good thing I have an appointment with her soon.
I guess I do have mild depression. I'd like to shake it off, but I really think it's related to needing more work and not being able to do mornings for some reason. And the end of the big grant. It lasted a long time, through many adventures. And I miss Scotland still.
Oddly enough I am really liking being single right now. I'm not entirely sure why that is. I guess I like my own company when I am alone. It's comforting. And I've spent so much of my twenties doing things on my own that it's just fine.
Anyway, I am trying to check in on myself and see if I am really okay or if I am slipping into anything like mania or depression.
Well, I'm not overly happy, that's for sure. So mania must be out.
That leaves depression. aw crap. Okay, or middle ground, which would be the best.
Well it was the anniversary of a friend's suicide this past month, that was sad.
But I did come home from Scotland, and that kinda made me sad too.
HMM> i guess there are reasons to be sad at the moment, but it still makes me uncomfortable. I hate having to look out for my moods. It's a part of my illness I find very difficult. So weird to have to look out for your own moods, and the depressions are the worst because there's this dark blackness to them, like you can't see through it to your future. Ugh! I HATE THAT!
Poop on depression.
Plus it's just sad that summer is over. Aw, no more summer til 2009!
Good thing I have an appointment with her soon.
I guess I do have mild depression. I'd like to shake it off, but I really think it's related to needing more work and not being able to do mornings for some reason. And the end of the big grant. It lasted a long time, through many adventures. And I miss Scotland still.
Oddly enough I am really liking being single right now. I'm not entirely sure why that is. I guess I like my own company when I am alone. It's comforting. And I've spent so much of my twenties doing things on my own that it's just fine.
Anyway, I am trying to check in on myself and see if I am really okay or if I am slipping into anything like mania or depression.
Well, I'm not overly happy, that's for sure. So mania must be out.
That leaves depression. aw crap. Okay, or middle ground, which would be the best.
Well it was the anniversary of a friend's suicide this past month, that was sad.
But I did come home from Scotland, and that kinda made me sad too.
HMM> i guess there are reasons to be sad at the moment, but it still makes me uncomfortable. I hate having to look out for my moods. It's a part of my illness I find very difficult. So weird to have to look out for your own moods, and the depressions are the worst because there's this dark blackness to them, like you can't see through it to your future. Ugh! I HATE THAT!
Poop on depression.
Plus it's just sad that summer is over. Aw, no more summer til 2009!
Monday, September 22, 2008
Grant writer's block
So I'm writing a grant to do a short recruitment video for the Martian Mining Ship that's going to Terraform Mars for the Indigenous people of earth. It should be pretty funny. It's based on a performance I've been doing here and there. Meaning, Saskatoon and twice in Vancouver.
I have the costumes designed already.
They are black coveralls with MARS CREW beaded on the back in red beads.
It's kind of based in my desire, however far fetched, to go into space.
But it's based on a different idea of going into space, because it's tied in with this idea of home, and leaving home, and making a new home but it will never be the same. There's an inherent loneliness to the idea of space travel.
Anyway, I am having grant writers block and it sucks. I can't for the life of me describe my project. I need to read some of my old notes or something.
I can only get 17 000, which is still 17 000 more than I have now.
Damn block! I can't even write this! I'm going to bed.
I have the costumes designed already.
They are black coveralls with MARS CREW beaded on the back in red beads.
It's kind of based in my desire, however far fetched, to go into space.
But it's based on a different idea of going into space, because it's tied in with this idea of home, and leaving home, and making a new home but it will never be the same. There's an inherent loneliness to the idea of space travel.
Anyway, I am having grant writers block and it sucks. I can't for the life of me describe my project. I need to read some of my old notes or something.
I can only get 17 000, which is still 17 000 more than I have now.
Damn block! I can't even write this! I'm going to bed.
Wednesday, September 17, 2008
Government Supplied Gasoline
This article from the Globe and Mail about various racist comments made by the Conservative party's folks made me shudder. So many stereotypes, so much hate. What a fucked up party man!
I am leaning towards the NDP right now and then also curious about the Green party. But then there is also the Liberals, and really that's the only other big party aside from the Bloc, which I can't vote for since I'm in Saskatchewan. Not that I would vote Bloc. Maybe I should just vote for a fringe independent candidate. Damn, so many choices.
It really makes me wonder about a place like the States where there are only two political parties. Not enough representation of diversity in political opinion. It's kind of weird. Even though it's pretty much been either Conservative or Liberal in power, there have been other people in parliament from all the other parties.
And it's going to be another minority government. Those things seem to have elections pretty quick, and there's always the confidence vote that can do it in.
One good thing about Canada is we do our elections with pencils and papers. No hanging chads, no electronic voting thinglydoos.
Anyway, the real point of this election is to get rid of the Conservatives. Stephen Harper is evil. He keeps axing arts funding. He gave people something like a hundred bucks a year towards their child care instead of funding day cares and the like. In Fit Of Pique I photoshopped a picture of him as George W. Bush's Mini Me. Enough said.
Not to mention the, uh, sobering remarks made by a Tory Candidate's assistant to Native protesters. And that guy who wants me and all my friends to live in Labrador.
LABRADOR?
What will we do there? Sniff government supplied gasoline?
I am leaning towards the NDP right now and then also curious about the Green party. But then there is also the Liberals, and really that's the only other big party aside from the Bloc, which I can't vote for since I'm in Saskatchewan. Not that I would vote Bloc. Maybe I should just vote for a fringe independent candidate. Damn, so many choices.
It really makes me wonder about a place like the States where there are only two political parties. Not enough representation of diversity in political opinion. It's kind of weird. Even though it's pretty much been either Conservative or Liberal in power, there have been other people in parliament from all the other parties.
And it's going to be another minority government. Those things seem to have elections pretty quick, and there's always the confidence vote that can do it in.
One good thing about Canada is we do our elections with pencils and papers. No hanging chads, no electronic voting thinglydoos.
Anyway, the real point of this election is to get rid of the Conservatives. Stephen Harper is evil. He keeps axing arts funding. He gave people something like a hundred bucks a year towards their child care instead of funding day cares and the like. In Fit Of Pique I photoshopped a picture of him as George W. Bush's Mini Me. Enough said.
Not to mention the, uh, sobering remarks made by a Tory Candidate's assistant to Native protesters. And that guy who wants me and all my friends to live in Labrador.
LABRADOR?
What will we do there? Sniff government supplied gasoline?
Tuesday, September 16, 2008
Temping
Well, I'm in the temporary help industry now, where I am making a somewhat better wage doing work in light industry. Tomorrow I'm going to a warehouse to help out from 8 til 5, and the same on Thursday. Monday I was at an industrial laundry facility to count dirty clothes. I made 11 bucks an hour. This is much better than the call centres. I hated being yelled at ALL the time by people I called to take part in surveys. So far the work's been REALLY temporary. I don't know, it's a strange way to earn a living, it makes me feel a bit like a prostitute, being pimped out to all kinds of businesses. At least In Theory. In practice it's just like going to work for a few or one days and then waiting for the next assignment to come in. I'll see if I like it after I've done it for longer.
A friend told me to be glad I didn't get data entry jobs because he said they're BORING as all hell. I guess so. Data entry doesn't sound glamourous.
Of course the fact that I am in light industry worries me a bit because my cousin Christopher died in an industrial accident. I will have to be very careful. I got a pair of steel toed work boots today with some artist fee money because apparently most of the assignments I'm being sent to I need steel toed work boots. They're really nice but I wish I didn't have to lay out so much money. Of course feet never change when you're an adult, so if I take care of them they will last me years.
My quitting smoking is still going well. I am going to a week of Step 2 and then a last week of Step 3, and then I'm going off the patches for good. I am feeling REALLY triggery for smokes lately and I don't know why, I suspect it has to do with going for work again. I used to smoke during my breaks, now I don't. I have to do something else.
And I like the sensation of smoking. I would smoke something totally not tobacco if I could, just for a replacement. But I don't know the good herbal cigarettes or where to get them.
Anyway, that's my life, not too exciting right now. Work is good though, I need the money and I actually didn't mind being on my feet all day on Monday. If I can just keep it up . . . and get fit while I do it!
A friend told me to be glad I didn't get data entry jobs because he said they're BORING as all hell. I guess so. Data entry doesn't sound glamourous.
Of course the fact that I am in light industry worries me a bit because my cousin Christopher died in an industrial accident. I will have to be very careful. I got a pair of steel toed work boots today with some artist fee money because apparently most of the assignments I'm being sent to I need steel toed work boots. They're really nice but I wish I didn't have to lay out so much money. Of course feet never change when you're an adult, so if I take care of them they will last me years.
My quitting smoking is still going well. I am going to a week of Step 2 and then a last week of Step 3, and then I'm going off the patches for good. I am feeling REALLY triggery for smokes lately and I don't know why, I suspect it has to do with going for work again. I used to smoke during my breaks, now I don't. I have to do something else.
And I like the sensation of smoking. I would smoke something totally not tobacco if I could, just for a replacement. But I don't know the good herbal cigarettes or where to get them.
Anyway, that's my life, not too exciting right now. Work is good though, I need the money and I actually didn't mind being on my feet all day on Monday. If I can just keep it up . . . and get fit while I do it!
Thursday, September 11, 2008
the lazy entry
I've been sitting around all day today. That's not quite true, I took Mister on a long walk and he had a poo and everything. It was a perfect owner/dog moment. Now he's snoozing by his kennel. I think I should put it away, he was going in and out for a while but now he doesn't care to.
I finally ordered my cable package, I'm not sure I can afford it, which is a bit silly, but we'll see what happens. I cut out various silly programs, like all the sports channels. And anyway, we'll see. There's still nothing on. I'm so bored! I want The Simpsons or Corner Gas or something to be on.
Today I'm mainly sitting around being a bum. It's because I'm waiting for my cousin Deanna to come over and hang out. We're going downtown to goof around eventually and then back to Mum's house for dinner.
It's going to be a nice day. I keep cleaning my house in between writing these paragraphs, and it's made me uninspired. I should quit.
I finally ordered my cable package, I'm not sure I can afford it, which is a bit silly, but we'll see what happens. I cut out various silly programs, like all the sports channels. And anyway, we'll see. There's still nothing on. I'm so bored! I want The Simpsons or Corner Gas or something to be on.
Today I'm mainly sitting around being a bum. It's because I'm waiting for my cousin Deanna to come over and hang out. We're going downtown to goof around eventually and then back to Mum's house for dinner.
It's going to be a nice day. I keep cleaning my house in between writing these paragraphs, and it's made me uninspired. I should quit.
Wednesday, September 10, 2008
A Bjork Classic
After going on a transatlantic flight, I can somewhat understand Bjork flipping out like this.
Higgs Boson and my Rugby Shirt
Hey, did you hear about the particle accelerator currently looking for the Higgs Boson particle? They did the first collision successfully today, and it's going to be running for the next fifteen years or so while they fiddle with all kinds of things. People are scared it will somehow rip the universe apart. Or blow up earth.
Google has a pretty cute icon of the particle accelerator on it's page.
I love Google. It's pretty much my only search engine, which could be goofy, I know.
I'm back from my interview and wearing my Scottish Rugby Shirt, which makes me happy. It's REALLY nice. And now appropriate for work since I may possibly be doing light industrial temp work. It would be different, and it pays better than what I was doing. I'm going to have to get some stamina. Maybe it will be good we walked so much in Scotland, because I'm in much better shape, although still quite chubby. I ate and drank more in Scotland. I usually don't eat so much. Or maybe I do and it's mostly snacks. I definitely don't usually drink so much, yesterday I went for a pint and it was just that, one pint.
I'm still on my no smoking thing. I haven't had a smoke, not even when I've been tempted. In the UK smokes have Smoking Kills written right on them, and it really freaked me out so of course I didn't want to buy smokes there. And here there is the Bloody Brain, the Broken Heart, and the Cancerous Lungs. Ugh to that!
Either way, I need to get in better shape.
Google has a pretty cute icon of the particle accelerator on it's page.
I love Google. It's pretty much my only search engine, which could be goofy, I know.
I'm back from my interview and wearing my Scottish Rugby Shirt, which makes me happy. It's REALLY nice. And now appropriate for work since I may possibly be doing light industrial temp work. It would be different, and it pays better than what I was doing. I'm going to have to get some stamina. Maybe it will be good we walked so much in Scotland, because I'm in much better shape, although still quite chubby. I ate and drank more in Scotland. I usually don't eat so much. Or maybe I do and it's mostly snacks. I definitely don't usually drink so much, yesterday I went for a pint and it was just that, one pint.
I'm still on my no smoking thing. I haven't had a smoke, not even when I've been tempted. In the UK smokes have Smoking Kills written right on them, and it really freaked me out so of course I didn't want to buy smokes there. And here there is the Bloody Brain, the Broken Heart, and the Cancerous Lungs. Ugh to that!
Either way, I need to get in better shape.
Good Morning
It's early morning and I got up so that I can fill out an online application for employment in a temp staffing office. Yes, I am currently aspiring to be a temp. I think I might like it, I would meet a variety of people by the end of it, that's for sure.
So I have to look extra sparkly today. I had a dream I was buying makeup. That is WEIRD for me, as I haven't worn makeup for nearly eight years, except a couple times when I was crazy.
Craziness brings out the showmanship in clothing tastes, that's for sure.
I'm still really missing Scotland. It feels like being homesick! I'm surprised that I miss it this much. I wish I was still on holidays.
Oh damn! I seem to be chubbier than I was when I wore my tux, the result is my shirt no longer fits. Damn! So right now I am wearing a Scottish Rugby Shirt with a huge emblem of the Scottish Flag on it. It's pretty stylin', but not appropriate for a job interview. So I think now we also have to go interview shirt shopping. Double damn! Money I didn't want to spend, going!
Anyway, I think I had the best summer ever this year, it's going to be hard to top, that's for sure. Hmm, although a summer romance is also something to look forward to. I did have one of those, sure enough, she dumped me around about august.
So I have to look extra sparkly today. I had a dream I was buying makeup. That is WEIRD for me, as I haven't worn makeup for nearly eight years, except a couple times when I was crazy.
Craziness brings out the showmanship in clothing tastes, that's for sure.
I'm still really missing Scotland. It feels like being homesick! I'm surprised that I miss it this much. I wish I was still on holidays.
Oh damn! I seem to be chubbier than I was when I wore my tux, the result is my shirt no longer fits. Damn! So right now I am wearing a Scottish Rugby Shirt with a huge emblem of the Scottish Flag on it. It's pretty stylin', but not appropriate for a job interview. So I think now we also have to go interview shirt shopping. Double damn! Money I didn't want to spend, going!
Anyway, I think I had the best summer ever this year, it's going to be hard to top, that's for sure. Hmm, although a summer romance is also something to look forward to. I did have one of those, sure enough, she dumped me around about august.
Sunday, September 07, 2008
Prayer of the week
I'm back to looking for work, and soon! I need something to fill in my long days and take away from my career for a while. LOL. No, I don't consider work to be that huge a burden. Although it will be a definite change of pace from life right now.
I'm still doing well with not smoking. I've done all kinds of things and not smoked cigarettes. I still only had that one slip way way back when I first started quitting. It's been weeks now. I'm on Step 2 of The Patch. It seems to be working. I didn't notice the change from Step 1. I'm a little more tired though. It's not such a heavy stimulant, and I've noticed being able to sleep more even when I am wearing it.
I'm pretty sleepy now, don't know why I"m even writing. We might have come into contact with bedbugs in the UK. Mum has big welty bites on her arms and legs, and I have a few on my wrist and ankles. So, eeehhhh! I hope we didn't bring them with us, although I hear they can't survive Saskatchewan winters. Let's pray it's true!
I'm still doing well with not smoking. I've done all kinds of things and not smoked cigarettes. I still only had that one slip way way back when I first started quitting. It's been weeks now. I'm on Step 2 of The Patch. It seems to be working. I didn't notice the change from Step 1. I'm a little more tired though. It's not such a heavy stimulant, and I've noticed being able to sleep more even when I am wearing it.
I'm pretty sleepy now, don't know why I"m even writing. We might have come into contact with bedbugs in the UK. Mum has big welty bites on her arms and legs, and I have a few on my wrist and ankles. So, eeehhhh! I hope we didn't bring them with us, although I hear they can't survive Saskatchewan winters. Let's pray it's true!
Friday, September 05, 2008
Absinthe
I'm feeling goofy, having had some absinthe. And also still being terribly jet lagged. I'm pretty ready to go to sleep. It's nice being back in Canada, I can't imagine living any other place.
I really like my footage. I'm very tired though, again. I am premiering You Are A Lesbian Vampire in Toronto at ImagineNative. Exciting! And I'm also showing Madness In Four Actions there.
We picked up Mister and Schrodinger today. They had a good time at summer camp (aka the kennel), Mister came out of his shell a LOT more, and made friends with some of the dogs there. He's also friendlier to my friends, which is nice. Schrodinger spent the time in the office with Mimi, my mum's cat. He had his mouse with him. It's a little fuzzy green thing.
Oh man, I should crash. Deanna liked the semi precious stone runes I got her. Now she can give me rune readings!!
I really like my footage. I'm very tired though, again. I am premiering You Are A Lesbian Vampire in Toronto at ImagineNative. Exciting! And I'm also showing Madness In Four Actions there.
We picked up Mister and Schrodinger today. They had a good time at summer camp (aka the kennel), Mister came out of his shell a LOT more, and made friends with some of the dogs there. He's also friendlier to my friends, which is nice. Schrodinger spent the time in the office with Mimi, my mum's cat. He had his mouse with him. It's a little fuzzy green thing.
Oh man, I should crash. Deanna liked the semi precious stone runes I got her. Now she can give me rune readings!!
Thursday, September 04, 2008
An experiment in exhausted writing
I feel like I'm lost in time somewhere between day and night. In Edinburgh time it's now 7 am, but here in Saskatoon where I am again it is only midnight. It feels WAY later. I'm really confused and I feel out of sorts because I've been awake for 24 hours! On a plane! Ugh! My ass hurts, I've been sleeping in skinny beds, I didn't poop for a day, I've eaten crappy airline food and watched two movies back to back. I fretted the whole way about two pricey bottles of absinthe stashed in my checked luggage and had my ears pop over and over. I'm so fucking tired but I'm also stoned and it feels intense! And I'm so tired but I have to decompress before I can possibly lie down. I have some amazing footage including something I really have never seen before and could be a youtube hit.
I'm exhausted. Not to mention I decided I HAD to answer my email and most of it was about my upcoming group show at the National Gallery, and now I'm not sure my tired mind is adept enough for that.
Ah well. It's nice to answer business email. Much less pressure than answering personal mail.
I'm SLEEPY! I'm crashing man, it's LATe :LATE LATE for me! Actually I think, oh my ear finally popped, I think I'm going to look at my stuff first, then go to bed. Yes. Oh man it's late.
I'm exhausted. Not to mention I decided I HAD to answer my email and most of it was about my upcoming group show at the National Gallery, and now I'm not sure my tired mind is adept enough for that.
Ah well. It's nice to answer business email. Much less pressure than answering personal mail.
I'm SLEEPY! I'm crashing man, it's LATe :LATE LATE for me! Actually I think, oh my ear finally popped, I think I'm going to look at my stuff first, then go to bed. Yes. Oh man it's late.
Monday, September 01, 2008
Almost home!
Today we're finally going to do the Gay neighborhood! I know where it is and we are ALMOST there! Tomorrow we're seeing penguins march about at the Zoo.
I'm getting really excited to go home now, we're so close and I'm so ready to be done carrying around cameras and tripod and suitcases filled to the brim with clothes and gifts for people. I did find some absinthe here, now will it get me into trouble, I do not know, but I will obviously keep you updated.
I've been really good about taking my meds but one night I did hear something weird that sounded suspiciously like an unintelligible voice in my head. My voices rarely ever say anything like a sentence, sometimes they aren't even in English. It was the first time I'd heard anything weird since I got out of the hospital. That one WAS intelligible and said 'The story goes that in the end you'll be normal.' Weird huh? I don't mind auditory hallucinations but they can be kind of annoying and scare people if you talk about them openly. So I usually don't.
What else? Today we're going to try and meet Liam for dinner, he used to go out with my cousin and is a nice guy, now he lives here in Edinburgh and seems to never want to come home. God bless him! I think the place suits him.
Anyway, that's about all I have to say about my trip thus far, oh except now I don't believe in the Loch Ness Monster AT ALL! Science doesn't support something so big living there as the fish stocks are rather low and it just isn't possible. So one little paranormal belief, gone! I do believe in Giant Squids though, as they've been proven to exist. Not paranormal at all though, unless it was, say, the ghost of a giant squid.
I'm getting really excited to go home now, we're so close and I'm so ready to be done carrying around cameras and tripod and suitcases filled to the brim with clothes and gifts for people. I did find some absinthe here, now will it get me into trouble, I do not know, but I will obviously keep you updated.
I've been really good about taking my meds but one night I did hear something weird that sounded suspiciously like an unintelligible voice in my head. My voices rarely ever say anything like a sentence, sometimes they aren't even in English. It was the first time I'd heard anything weird since I got out of the hospital. That one WAS intelligible and said 'The story goes that in the end you'll be normal.' Weird huh? I don't mind auditory hallucinations but they can be kind of annoying and scare people if you talk about them openly. So I usually don't.
What else? Today we're going to try and meet Liam for dinner, he used to go out with my cousin and is a nice guy, now he lives here in Edinburgh and seems to never want to come home. God bless him! I think the place suits him.
Anyway, that's about all I have to say about my trip thus far, oh except now I don't believe in the Loch Ness Monster AT ALL! Science doesn't support something so big living there as the fish stocks are rather low and it just isn't possible. So one little paranormal belief, gone! I do believe in Giant Squids though, as they've been proven to exist. Not paranormal at all though, unless it was, say, the ghost of a giant squid.
Sunday, August 31, 2008
The Last Leg of my Journey
We're going to the Infamous Loch Ness today on a boat tour. Maybe we'll see the monster! It's been incredibly fun and we've seen some very cool things. I'm going to be glad to get home though to see my little dog and my kitten. I had a dream about my cat last night, dreamt I tied him to some balloons and then realized he might fly high in the sky away from me. I also dreamed my stomach had tons of surface piercings and I had no recollection of doing them, only to find out Mike did it while I was drunk and high! Weird dream!
I've been having lots of weird dreams since quitting smoking, they are very trippy.
It's a Sunday, we have to take some laundry back to the BAndB and then get a spot of lunch and then go on our excursion. It's a cloudy day but no rain, thankfully. When we did our archaeological tour of the Orkneys it was spitting misty rain off and on, our tour guide was amazing though and had an obvious love of the land.
So far I've tried Scottish crab, Scottish Lamb, and Scottish Steak! Yummers!
i'M SUCH A HOMEBODY AT HEART THOUGH! I love Saskatoon and am happy to have made my home there, after such a long time in Vancouver. I appreciate it more now.
It's been an incredible journey and I'm so happy to have come here. It will be interesting to see how my video turns out.
I've been having lots of weird dreams since quitting smoking, they are very trippy.
It's a Sunday, we have to take some laundry back to the BAndB and then get a spot of lunch and then go on our excursion. It's a cloudy day but no rain, thankfully. When we did our archaeological tour of the Orkneys it was spitting misty rain off and on, our tour guide was amazing though and had an obvious love of the land.
So far I've tried Scottish crab, Scottish Lamb, and Scottish Steak! Yummers!
i'M SUCH A HOMEBODY AT HEART THOUGH! I love Saskatoon and am happy to have made my home there, after such a long time in Vancouver. I appreciate it more now.
It's been an incredible journey and I'm so happy to have come here. It will be interesting to see how my video turns out.
Wednesday, August 27, 2008
Super freak, she's super freaky! Yeah!
It's now well into our holiday/shoot and I've got some great footage. We saw some puffins in Wick and I got two of them on tape but they are very small. We came into Kirkwall today to do a spot of shopping and I have to say, I'm glad we picked Stromness to stay in because it is far prettier.
The food is good from time to time, I still haven't tried haggis because it sounds offal. Ha ha! But we did get some Scots bannock here, we haven't tried it yet but we will!
Scotland is an interesting place to visit, everywhere seems so rich with history. Being in the Orkneys is interesting because they still have very strong ties with Norway and with their viking heritage. I found some wicked presents for people, or one person anyway, and oddly enough we found a Lonely Planet guide for the Trans Siberian Railway. Our next trip, hopefully!
Travelling with Mum is excellent except that she often has to find a bathroom. Poor lady. We haven#t seen any seals, but I am hoping we might see Dolphins at Inverness. We're also going on a boat tour of Loch Ness soon. Maybe we'll see some humps! My humps . . .
The weather was miserable in edinburgh, but it has vastly improved for the rest of our trip. Mum wasn't impressed with Edinburgh castle. The really interesting part of our trip was Wick when we wandered about discovering things about our relative who lived there.
Anyway, back to Facebook I guess! I'm glad we've had internet access every so often because I had to attend to a couple business emails. I'm going to be in a show at the National Gallery in October, and in late September I'm going to the Lower Mainland for a few days to be part of a shoot.
The food is good from time to time, I still haven't tried haggis because it sounds offal. Ha ha! But we did get some Scots bannock here, we haven't tried it yet but we will!
Scotland is an interesting place to visit, everywhere seems so rich with history. Being in the Orkneys is interesting because they still have very strong ties with Norway and with their viking heritage. I found some wicked presents for people, or one person anyway, and oddly enough we found a Lonely Planet guide for the Trans Siberian Railway. Our next trip, hopefully!
Travelling with Mum is excellent except that she often has to find a bathroom. Poor lady. We haven#t seen any seals, but I am hoping we might see Dolphins at Inverness. We're also going on a boat tour of Loch Ness soon. Maybe we'll see some humps! My humps . . .
The weather was miserable in edinburgh, but it has vastly improved for the rest of our trip. Mum wasn't impressed with Edinburgh castle. The really interesting part of our trip was Wick when we wandered about discovering things about our relative who lived there.
Anyway, back to Facebook I guess! I'm glad we've had internet access every so often because I had to attend to a couple business emails. I'm going to be in a show at the National Gallery in October, and in late September I'm going to the Lower Mainland for a few days to be part of a shoot.
Saturday, August 23, 2008
Short note!
Here in Scotland the sun has finally decided to peek through the clouds. I don't have much time to write here, suffice it to say that I am doing well with my mum here and we've learned some interesting things about our past. We're in Wick right now staying just around the corner from my great grandma's house. We found the butcher shop where my great grandad used to work too. It is no longer a butcher shop. Now it's the Volunteer centre.
Well, that's about all the stuff I can write in my allotted time! Curse the slow library computer! I am coming out to the Lower Mainland in September, so I'm excited to see my friends. I've quit smoking for about 16 days now. And it's going good! I'm repulsed by noncanadian cigs at the best of times, so this is a good experience. Til later!
Well, that's about all the stuff I can write in my allotted time! Curse the slow library computer! I am coming out to the Lower Mainland in September, so I'm excited to see my friends. I've quit smoking for about 16 days now. And it's going good! I'm repulsed by noncanadian cigs at the best of times, so this is a good experience. Til later!
Saturday, August 16, 2008
SCOTLAND!
It's only a couple days until I head off to Scotland, and I'm excited as all hell. The days are going to be busy! Oh man, and I had a weird night last night. Some thuggy dude called my friend a faggot, and then another guy yelled at us and chased us. We were smoking up the last time, so our only option was to run like the wind! LOL.
I'm so having trouble with my sleeping, I keep sleeping in. I know I won't on vacation, but still it's a concern, especially with work coming up soon. I need to be able to get up on time.
I'm sleeping through a buzzing alarm too, it's not pleasant but somehow I can do it. Ugh!
I have to do something about this.
I used to wish I was called a sexpert. I used to want to be a sexpert. I think I still do, which is kind of funny. I thought I would have grown out of those day dreams.
Anyway, SCOTLAND!
I'm so having trouble with my sleeping, I keep sleeping in. I know I won't on vacation, but still it's a concern, especially with work coming up soon. I need to be able to get up on time.
I'm sleeping through a buzzing alarm too, it's not pleasant but somehow I can do it. Ugh!
I have to do something about this.
I used to wish I was called a sexpert. I used to want to be a sexpert. I think I still do, which is kind of funny. I thought I would have grown out of those day dreams.
Anyway, SCOTLAND!
Wednesday, August 13, 2008
No smoking and my traveling reading materials
Well, it's day 3 of being on the patch and still I have only smoked once. My shirt actually smells not bad and I'm coughing a bit to get the plegm out. Ew. The patches are really helping, I only think about cigarettes now when I'm first in a situation where I would have smoked. I'm not partying any time soon, so there won't be that situation to think about smoking. And then I will be in Scotland, and I won't think about smoking anyway. Still, I am getting enough patches to get me through Scotland.
I'm pretty psyched about going. It's my first BIG trip in a long time. I hope we can afford it, it seems insanely expensive. As insane as a psychosis though? Hmm, not quite.
Since I have nothing else to talk about, I will now list what I am taking with me on the plane:
The New Bottoming Book by Dossie Easton and Janet W. Hardy
A sort of primer for BDSM bottoms in the ins and outs and dos and don'ts. Pretty useful.
Diva, the Special Gender Issue August 2008
I haven't read any of it yet, it's a UK dyke mag. Danielle Sea was on the cover.
Filmmaker The Magazine of Independent Film Summer 2008
25 new faces of Independent Film!
Film Comment July August 2008
Wall-e!
NAVIGATING THE space Between Brilliance and Madness
A Reader and Roadmap of Bipolar Worlds
Assembled by the Icarus Project
It's a sweet zine like collection of writings by other folks with bipolar and related disorders. It gave me a warm feeling when I picked it up in the store. Plus it's realistic about meds, which was nice.
Best Lesbian Erotica 08 edited by Tristan Taormino
I think the last time I bought lesbian erotica was in the late nineties. It's good to update my bookshelf.
I'm pretty psyched about going. It's my first BIG trip in a long time. I hope we can afford it, it seems insanely expensive. As insane as a psychosis though? Hmm, not quite.
Since I have nothing else to talk about, I will now list what I am taking with me on the plane:
The New Bottoming Book by Dossie Easton and Janet W. Hardy
A sort of primer for BDSM bottoms in the ins and outs and dos and don'ts. Pretty useful.
Diva, the Special Gender Issue August 2008
I haven't read any of it yet, it's a UK dyke mag. Danielle Sea was on the cover.
Filmmaker The Magazine of Independent Film Summer 2008
25 new faces of Independent Film!
Film Comment July August 2008
Wall-e!
NAVIGATING THE space Between Brilliance and Madness
A Reader and Roadmap of Bipolar Worlds
Assembled by the Icarus Project
It's a sweet zine like collection of writings by other folks with bipolar and related disorders. It gave me a warm feeling when I picked it up in the store. Plus it's realistic about meds, which was nice.
Best Lesbian Erotica 08 edited by Tristan Taormino
I think the last time I bought lesbian erotica was in the late nineties. It's good to update my bookshelf.
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