Sucky Valentines

Tis a sad valentines day for me, like nearly all valentines days. I had a girlfriend for only one valentines day, and I don't remember her doing anything for me, although she did mail me a dildo for my twentieth birthday. Thanks. I don't have it anymore, I cut it up in a fit of pique. Hence the name for my blog, which I have been rather careless about recently. But you'll all be glad to know in the meantime I have been working on the paper version of Fit Of Pique, to be unveilled this April! Price is three to five dollars, depending on what you can afford. And you will want to own this remarkable work of zine-ness. There's a centerfold of all the things people put up their bums and had to see a doc to remove. There's a Bottom's Manifesto written on a particularily crusty day I had after some bad experiences with tops. There's the full on story of what exactly transpired during my visit to the looney bin. Alice makes a cameo appearance, and there's lots of other fun stuff. If you would like a copy, email me your address and I'll try to send a few freebies out, or we could trade, whatever.

I must state now that I am completely indebted to Louis Cruz for showing me a few of the finer points of zine making.

Anyway, where was I? Besides blathering on about the zine version of Fit of Pique, there's also some other interesting stuff going on in my life.

I am trying to funnel my love of pot into a less invasive love of gambling. Ah well, one addiction for another. Lottery tickets are cheaper than pot, and give just as much a thrill when you spend time writing shopping lists for the big win. So if you want to get into my good books, buy me a lotto ticket instead of passing on that joint. I've decided to quit smoking pot, except maybe at laser shows.

Oh yeah, and an alert for all you readers, in case you haven't heard a new strain of HIV has emerged that takes only three months to develop into AIDS and is resistant to a number of HIV drugs. So take care all of you.

Anyone got any tips on quitting smoking? I've noticed that for as long as I have been a smoker, I also haven't had a girlfriend. And according to some news reports, Vancouverites really don't like sticking their tongue where a cigarette has been. Which is really unfair, because when I was a non-smoker dating a smoker I still stuck my tongue in all kinds of places on her.

Soon I will be living alone and have internet access again, so for all you dedicated readers, pleeeze hang on just a little bit longer and this blog will return to it's regularily scheduled program of complaints, excitement, and general bullshitting around.

Oh I know what I should tell yous all. This weekend is IMAGeNation, and a bunch of my videos are screening at the Raja Cinema. So you should come down and see some of the best aboriginal film and video around. I have been working with the IMAG peeps since we were born, and it's a cool festival. I can't believe I just used the word peeps.

Speaking of Peeps, for those cynics out there who need a laugh, here's a fun experiment. Place a marshmallow Peep in a microwave and press start. It will explode, and it's quite funny. At least I think it is. But don't put an IMAG peep in a microwave cause that's just mean.