Diversified Diversions and Career Building: The Themes of 2010

Last year I was trying to tackle WAY too many precise goals, and accomplished maybe ONE of them. I AM NOW MARGINALLY CLEANER! I did not kick any of my addictions for significant periods of time though.

So THIS year, I have decided to take a different route towards the same end. I am going to find MORE fun things to do that DON'T fall under the category of substance use. And I am going to try to do them sober. It's a challenge, but if I can get the hang of it, I hope to channel it into accomplishing my second goal for 2010: Building my filmyvideoey career up, and also getting more employable skills.

It's fun to work on my career, except for sometimes, like when I have to get it in the mail before 4:30 or whatever. Deadlines stress me out. It's probably why my hair is so thin. ha ha!

Anyway, those are the two personal things I am going to try and work on this year. The end result will be a more active career again with the possibility of finding a way to be a mostly full time artist, and also the ability to have fun without getting blotto, and thus being able to have a broader sense of life than the relatively narrow constraints I live in with my addictions. I'm tired of wanting to leave places so I can go home and get stoned. I'd like to be able to just stay drinking tea with a friend until the bus before bedtime, not caring about sucking on some burning leaves. But I'm not ready to completely give up. Just be more well rounded. Even though I just found out my local offsale does delivery.

And I want to make more INCREDIBLE art and get more FAMOUS and fall in love with a beautiful WOMAN who will be in love with me for being a FAMOUS ARTIST! Well not quite, that sounds kinda shallow actually.

So maybe I will write about That this year.

I also realize I haven't written about a major thing which has happened in my family. I don't want to disrespect anyone, so I think I will write about it and how it is impacting us another time when I am not sleepy. Just suffice it to say that my cousin who was my best friend when I was a kid got off his meds and got sick and hurt himself pretty badly. And he is in the hospital right now and those of us who are spiritual are praying and those of us who are atheists are sending positive thoughts to him. He's getting visits from us and his mom is here with him. I am glad that the police were able to come to his aid and I really wish he could see. It's made me think a lot about how fragile humans are. And how much I wish he knew he was loved.