So Deanna hasn't posted anything on facebook in a while. And I don't really know where she is. It's kind of a concern, although last night someone saw her at a rally. So she's sort of AWOL. I don't know what's up. Le sigh!
Last night I had this intensely emotional dream, in a good way. And I woke up and was all goofy and smiley for a while. And then I remembered none of it was real and was disappointed. But I got over it. I like being entertained while I am sleeping.
I went to Partner's In Employment because it's a condition of me being on Welfare, and they offered to let me do a Vocational Evaluation which takes about two weeks and will tell me what jobs I am suited for. It's in January - February. Until then I am just going to hang on and keep poking around for jobs of some sort. Or freelance creative various things. We'll see. I still have to make this super 8 film too!
I can't think properly at this hour or with this much alcohol in me.
It is weird being in love with someone who loves me back but doesn't want to be with me. I always thought love was enough, but it's NOT! :O Once my mom told me about how she used to ask the universe to bring her a man to fall in love with but they would turn out to have some glaring issue like being married technically or being gay all the way or other things and eventually she gave up asking the universe to bring her a man to love because it was like the universe was finding every loophole to sabotage it. That's how I feel! Oh man. You have to be so specific when you ask the universe for something.
I'm a weirdo. That's probably the problem! Also I smoke, which is another problem. But really truly I am going to quit for good soon. I did a whole month recently, like in September or something.
I should go to bed. Maybe I will have another nice dream.