For my prudey readers, you might want to skip this post! For the rest of you, I had the first intensely gratifying sexual experience Sunday night in a really LONG time! I did have sex with someone else last summer and that was hot, but I am talking in this instance of my solitary sex life. Which has been lacking.
I don't know why masturbation is such a taboo topic, when we are encouraged to talk about uplifting sexual experiences with other people. Maybe because solitary sex is supposed to be guilty and super quiet because there's the assumption you are pitiful if you can't have sex with other people. But I have been inspired as of late with my friend Shavonne who is always posting about masturbating and how her bed smells like vag! I'm impressed even, because she always has a sense of joie de vivre about her solitary sex life and no shame!
I used to have a really good solitary sex life, in my early twenties. I was away from home in my own apartment and had marathon masturbating sessions with various techniques, experimenting with my body and various implements, from ginger figs to my first (and second, and third) dildos to clothespins to . . . well once I eyed my telephone up quite lovingly, not for phone sex as you would understand it but more because the handset was curved in a pleasing way. But I didn't go that far. I kind of regret it now. I used vibrators and candle wax and all kinds of things. And then what happened?
In the last few years my masturbation has been utilitarian and rote. Just a buzz of my vibrator before I fall asleep, trying to think of just the right fantasy to get me off and usually being frustrated because my fantasies are all boring now. I need to expand on them, or so I thought.
BUT THEN Sunday night I was kinda horny and got out the lube and my new glass dildo which I got at Taboo but hadn't used yet. And I used it and my vibrator and had an EXPLOSIVE orgasm that made me all glowy the next day. I hadn't penetrated myself in a REALLY LONG TIME and it was amazing! That night I had dreams about using my glass dildo AND my vibrating clit pump I got from Berlin last year, which I was all excited about doing last night except I ended up sleeping over at a friend's house. I admit, I almost wanted my friend to drive me home JUST so I could masturbate all over again, but I didn't ask her to. Tonight I expect to have a special moment all to myself.
The funny thing was my fantasies weren't so all important when I was fucking myself with a glass dildo and using a vibrator on my clit, they all got lost in just the pure sensation of SEX! SEX! I had forgotten that having sex by myself could be hot like that, it had just become this thing I did in the dark with a vibrator set to high while I fumbled around in my brain trying to think of the thing that would tip me over the edge.
And what really impressed me was how much it boosted my libido to have such a fulfilling experience by myself. I wanted more MORE MORE! And not even necessarily with other people, I'm perfectly content to be sexual on my own.
I wasn't masturbating much these days, maybe a couple times a week. Because it was so BORING! But this getting into my toys again has reignited my solitary passions. I am already going over my inventory in my head thinking of what toys to mix and match tonight. And I also know that by doing that I will increase my own imagination for things to do with a lover, whenever that happens.
We need to talk about masturbation more, I think. We need to share tips for masturbating creatively. We need to get rid of this antiquated idea that masturbating is solely for pathetic people who can't get girlfriends (or boyfriends), as if being single and sexual is a pathetic thing. I refuse to wait for a lover to pull on my nipple clamps while gliding a strap on in and out of me! Like most things in my life, I'm just gonna do it myself!
And why oh why when I wanted to tell everyone what great sex I had Sunday night, I felt sheepish, until I blurted it all out on Shavonne's wall on Monday! It really did make me want to go tell it on the mountain "GLASS DILDOS ARE AMAZING EVERYBODY!"
Masturbation IS sex, sex doesn't always require another person. And dammit, I am going to have a good sex life from now on! I have seen the light, and it is a six inch ridged blue and clear glass dildo! Plus the rest of my army of toys! :D