Monday, May 28, 2012
First Sober Week wrap up!
Well, I still am not at liberty to inform you, my dear readers, what is new with the home situation. So just imagine it is something that makes me very happy and solves a problem. You can probably guess what it is. I'm still doing well not drinking. I'm doing pretty much everything I did before, except now I don't drink. At least, not alcohol. I actually went to one of my old bars, the Yard and Flagon, and I had a mocktail and a coffee. And nachos. It was pretty good, I didn't mind having regular drinks. Even though my friends were having rum and grand marnier and blah de blah drinks. Friday will be a whole week. People keep telling me "Well you could have ONE drink" but the doctor's office said NO alcohol, and they said it three times! So I think I should follow the doctor's orders and not listen to friends and family who suggest otherwise. I'm not really interested in getting liver failure. I've been feeling my world expand a bit since I quit drinking and smoking up and smoking cigarettes. The night before last I had a dream I was being followed around by this little black horse. It was bigger than a pony but smaller than a regular horse. And at one point it took my right hand into it's mouth, I was terrified it was going to bite it but it just held it and then let go. I knew somehow that this horse was God! As I understand it. I don't really think of God as having a gender or anything, and it was kind of intense to be followed around by this Horse being. It was freaking me out because it was SO insistent on following me, no matter where I went. So anyway, actually that was a few nights ago, I wrote those three paragraphs and then left this for a while. I'm doing good. Now it is Friday, I made it through my first week of not drinking! :D And it didn't hurt! And it wasn't boring! I've been going to the gym again. I am not able to do fifteen minutes on the elliptical yet tho. But I'm back up to doing an hour or so of working out, which is good. It's less than a month until I leave! :O I'm getting nervous, being in Germany for five weeks is quite a commitment! I hope I have a good time. It will be weird being there and not drinking, but it will be good. I don't need to get drunk. I think even when my fatty liver has reversed itself and gone back to normal, I am going to continue not drinking. I think I have too much of an addictive personality, I could get into trouble! ************ And now it is Sunday! ********* And still no drinking! :D Nine Days! I am going to NA tonight. It's on in an hour and a bit. I need some support. I am tired of people trying to encourage me to drink again. It seems really negative. In six months I am going to get my liver enzymes checked out again, but even if they are back in a normal range, I am still not going to drink. I think it would be better for my mental health and all of that not to. I was a bingey drinker, it wasn't healthy. Obviously it wasn't healthy if my liver wasn't doing well. I'm now on OK Cupid! I got on it after a friend asked me to look at her profile and tell her what I thought. So now I have gotten one message from someone near me, which is nice. I was totally honest on my profile about quitting everything and looking for love, hopefully it gets me some dates! Later On Sunday: Well I went to my NA meeting, and I actually talked for the first time! It was awesome! I got a lot of support and they were happy I had made it to nine days totally clean. I think I will go more often. They have a group everyday out and about town. I might go to a couple more this week. ***************** Monday!********** I was terrified about driving to the airport to pick up Mom, because of the rain and the freeway! BUT I did it! I even had a decent time parking! Yay! I even changed lanes on Millar, which is a terrible place to change lanes! Anyway, Mom is home, and Steven came home, and my weekend alone is over. It was really nice, even though I didn't do a lot. Maybe it was nice BECAUSE I didn't do a lot! :) Anyway, that is the last week of my life. The no drinking thing is going awesomely, and I still need to figure out fun things to do. I went to the horse track on Friday, that was fun. They serve booze, but it's easy not to drink there.