Saturday, June 19, 2004

I blog therefore I am


There is a word for people who compulsively write. It is called hypergraphia. Anything can be pathologized if done to an excessive degree. And here I thought it was called "being creative."

You can brush your teeth too much. It is true, once upon a time I brushed far too much. My gums started being brushed right off my teeth, slowly being eroded by my intense urges to cleanse myself of plaque.

When I was a kid the dentist used to give me these pink pills that I could chew on (tasted good so I ate them as much as I could) that stained all the plaque so I could see all the places I missed. Being a weird and morbid child I loved those little pink pills. I loved anything bizarre like that.

The dentist doesn't give me pink pills anymore.

You can write too much. I blog therefore I am. Sometimes I feel like I have to keep producing so that people won't forget I exist. I am terrified of the void, of falling into the void, of a big social blackhole opening up and swallowing me. I fear my own wallflower tendencies. So I write. And I write and I write and I write, because when I'm talking with people in a group social situation people have a dreadful tendency to talk over me whenever I'm about to make some interesting point.

Perhaps writing too much is like brushing your teeth too much, slowly I will have written so much that my own existence will become redundant. No one will need to hang out with me because they can have the Thirza experience all on their own in front of their computer screen.

On the other hand it is ridiculous to fret about such a thing as hypergraphia when so many things are going on in the world. I'm just glad to have my own little spots here and there on the internet.

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