That's not love! That's Stockholm Syndrome!

I wanted a really cool blog to go along with this title, but then I started writing a tired ex girlfriend tirade again and felt dumb so I laid it to rest. But I still like the title. It can stand really well on it's own. And I think everyone can understand the experience of confusing the Stockholm Syndrome with love.

I felt like a dork today. I've been searching for a song from the Shortbus soundtrack for the last two days on Gnutella only to find out I've had the damn song this whole time. It's not like I have THAT many songs, only 1455. And I used to have 80 cds but I have no idea what happened to them.

A deadline I missed in October is coming up again already this January, so I'm hoping to have my shit together. At least the screenplay looks sort of normal now. It has more of a flow and dramatic tension and character development. Actually that's not true, one character is still pathetically 2 dimensional. He's practically a prop. I'm considering killing him off. I don't know what to do with him. I think I fucked myself over by trying to put an ensemble of queer identities all together in an intimate drama. And then I further fucked myself over by pressuring myself to do something stupid like present only "positive representations."

Positive representations. It's what organizations like GLAAD are all about. It's some LA femme getting snarky and bashing bulldaggers as negative stereotypes. It's what gave us a medley of L Word characters who look the same. It's what makes queers whisper to each other "Actually I really liked Cruising."

Pacino and Poppers - Good Times Combination

It's what leads to obnoxious lesbians in Michigan chasing away girls in leather and transgendered women. Fuck positive representation. I know we have a miniscule number of queer characters/movies and out actors, but god, sometimes you just need a queer villain. I'm not talking Put the Lotion in the Fucking Basket villain, but someone nasty and yet complex. That being said, I really love Silence of the Lambs.

Do you still hear the lambs screaming Clarice?

Some queer filmmakers are breathing a sigh of relief already though because we're not tied to the positive representations shit anymore. God, isn't Oprah enough of a positive representation for us all to get by on? Now the rest of us can be dramatic fuck ups while she and Ellen improve the daytime living of bored housewives everywhere.