I Could Kill Myself With My Panties

I have narrowed my topics I want to cover in the next video to being institutionalized, which means I am going to shoot my next video based on a short story with illustrations which I self published in the Fit Of Pique zine. It's called I Could Kill Myself With My Panties, because that's what I was told when I lost my bra and panty privileges in the Montreal psych ward I was in.

I am going to do it like a lot of my other videos, with a voice over reading out the text. But I also need to come up with a visual look for it. I am thinking I will do some drawings based on the visual imagery in the story and scan them in and use those. So I have to do some reading and notations.

INSIDER SCOOP!!!! How Thirza Writes a Short Video Script (usually).
Usually I write the monologue first, and I always seem to do a monologue. Then I print it off and start writing images and shots in the margins. From this I make a shot list, and after shooting from there I put the whole thing back together into a cohesive form in editing. Editing is where the video really comes together because I will often add another crucial image to it and do more shooting. Plus I come up with more interesting soundscapes when I actually have images to work with.

Aside from that, I am busy getting stuff done for my business start up. I have to do some work on that this weekend actually.

I am waiting on some important mail, artist fees and my articles of Incorporation. I'm pretty excited for both!

I wish I had a better place for drawing, maybe I would be into it more if I had somewhere to draw. Also I would like to manipulate it with photoshop and maybe make some quasi animated imagery. I should go look for what drawings I have for that story already and then highlight other images in the text. And I should look on some creative commons sound effect sites for some relevant sounds.

What does an institution sound like? Well there are screams for sure.

I also have to set myself up in the basement finally. For my business I am moving out of the bedroom and into the more open other side of the basement, where I have to also set up a living room type space with my tv and all that set up. I have one armchair and I might get another chair down there. But I should really set it up so that my bed can be used for tv watching, because then it is also the perfect make out spot!

I wish I had Pro Tools, I love Pro Tools so much! I want to marry it!

I wish the basement wasn't such a weird space, I am sure it is haunted, but there is no where else for me to live at the moment so I kind of have to suck it up. Plus it's easier for me to have a homebased business here than a home where I am renting. I'm renting here too, but my mom OWNS the place and is fine with me operating a business out of her basement.

I went and did something stupid. I wrote a letter of desire to the love of my life and SHE NEVER WROTE BACK! :O I feel stupid. I don't know why I throw my heart onto the ground for her to stomp on all the time. She's so never going to be with me, I don't know why I even bother. I guess there is always that fragile hope that blooms and then withers and dies. It's a perennial type of hope.

I'm looking forward to the spring flowers this year. Maybe this year I will even make enough money to have some cherry blossoms tattooed onto my left forearm. Nice pink ones, all delicate and happy, against a blue sky.