Dreams

I have been having the craziest dreams. I'm not sure why. I think it might be because I have stopped using everything. Last night I dreamt my sister Sky and I were dressed like cakes with yellow icing because "Yellow is the colour of sisters!" The night before that I dreamt I was desperately searching amongst my friends for a girlfriend, and I couldn't find anyone because they were all with other people, meanwhile I was in this lavish building during a party of some kind and I knew I was going to have a good life, and there was this magical lighthouse you could see through the window that was giant and spewed bursts of fire and black birds were flying out of the fire without being burned. And the night before that I dreamt I was going to Emily Carr again but to get there I had to climb a tall grassy cliff, and I managed to do it! Then I was driving my mom home and all these police and people in hazardous materials outfits were milling around our house and I asked mum what they were doing there and she said it was because someone asked her what she was living on and she said she was running a meth lab! And then the LAST part of that dream I was friends with Nicole Kidman and we kept acting out scenes with each other (no, not BDSM scenes, just film scenes) and then one day I got really mad at her for some reason and choked her and then she wouldn't trust me ever again and THEN I gave her baby dog cookies and she got really pissed off.

I don't know why I am having such intense dreams. I guess my subconscious is processing a lot of things. It's a nice trade off, to quit mind altering substances and still have the chance to experience mind altering dreams! I really like the visuals I am getting too. Sometimes my dreams are a bit disturbing, but then I am just glad to wake up and say "Whew! It was only a dream!"

Sometimes dreams mean something, but I think sometimes it's just weird shit! No meaning at all, just bizarre stories. The dreams that frustrate me the most are the ones for which there is no language to describe them, at least not in English. I'll want to articulate them but I can't, and because I can't describe them, I forget them! Those ones always seem the most magical too, which is a shame that they are indescribable.

I think I can tell when a dream has meaning. Sometimes it takes me a while to find out the meaning. For a while I was having dreams about pulling broken glass out of my mouth, not eating glass, just suddenly FINDING it there! And it was a recurring dream so I knew it has something profound behind it. Then I found out my late Grandfather used to chew glass when he was in the military to seem really tough! It was just him saying hello to me. What was really remarkable about that was it was a piece of information I didn't have before the dreams started.

That dream about the black horse seemed pretty profound too.

The meth lab one seems pretty silly though. Which is why I say some of my dreams are just weird shit!