scrapings

Day One of no pot. Well, I did scrape my pipe and smoked it. Didn't get high. So, day one of no pot. Well I cheated. I know I did. I almost bought a tenner of pot, which is pitiful and so small no one I know would actually sell it to me.

I have this friend who's always on an eternal quest to buy just a gram. Just ONE gram of pot! No one I know has sold to him. He's on his own!

I knew places in Vancouver where you could buy small amounts, but even then they wouldn't sell just ONE gram.

It's like selling some crumbs.

I shouldn't even talk about marijuana if I'm trying not to use, but it has been a constant friend, even longer than cigarettes. And besides, how do I know I want to quit?

Because it makes me jellybrained and sleepy.

The sleepy part is kind of nice, except for when you pig out on a bag of chips and then crash for four hours in the middle of the day. Ugh.

Lots of people I know can use pot sparingly, except for me. I don't know why I'm such a porker when it comes to the green, but I am. I sometimes only perk up about social occasions when I find out pot is involved somehow. IT MAKES ME FEEL PITIFUL AND ANGRY AT MYSELF`! Woah, sorry about the all caps. It does though, because I feel like I had all this potential when I was younger and what did I do with it? Became a stoned old blogger with no romance in my life smelling of smoke and looking for my next high. fuck!

I am also thinking I should switch to diet soda. I think all the calories in real soda are contributing to my weight gain. And I already have a hard time with weight since I've been taking pills.

Oh dear, bedtime. Off to work I go tomorrow~! No more pot for me! I can do it if I believe!