Fixed!

After looking up various troubleshooting tips, I decided just to look at installing RAM in case there was an issue with that I overlooked. Sure enough, matched pairs have to be installed in banks going from the center outwards. One of those things that is logical to a computer and not to me. How should I know that's how it likes to access it's memory.

One funny thing which did happen through all this is that my computer suddenly decided it was December 1969, and when I tried to sign into Google it said it was using an encrypted certificate that wouldn't be available until 2006. 1969? My computer is having some kind of flashback.

I wonder what computers did during the summer of love?