Wow

I seem to have met the only person who can make me take a stand and disarm me at the same time. Holy fuck. It's such a relief, now my whole dark side can go back to my sex life where it belongs. I'm so freakin' relieved. That is too ridiculously fun.

I did have to talk about ritual abuse in this blog though, because it is how the psychiatric system I ended up in treated me. And since this whole blog is about my healing process from this crazy time period of domination, psych ritual abuse just had to be talked about.

I don't think people realize how damaging psychiatry is to the people who end up in it, especially people who today are just having a common new experience of spiritual awakening. People may be going to the edge these days, but it's because everything is changing. I don't know if I would have been so heavily ritually abused by the Montreal psych ward if they had known I was an internationally recognized director, but then again to them I was just some dumb Indian. So there you go.

Montreal is racist. In fact, a lot of Quebec is. In fact, the whole of Canada is, as is the whole world. I will protect people close to me by any means necessary, and by god if that involves space aliens so be it. I think we can start to disarm things in an intelligent way. I've decided to disarm you all by starting to talk openly about spirituality and awakenings and the honesty of mutually agreed upon power exchange relationships. It may seem like a funny thing for me to end up wanting to discuss, but honestly, to get through this, that is what I think you need to know. There is all the dark stuff in my blog, you're free to read it if you want, just be aware that it was the darkest time period of my life, and probably of all our lives.

We all have dark histories now, we've been pushed so far because of world wide abuse. I'm perfectly willing to lead people off to the places I know are safe, because I did tangle with the Forces. They do have weaknesses that can be exploited, like all of us, and that's what I learned on this journey. One weakness is this idea that people won't be honest about what's going on. It's not necessarily secrecy that is the problem so much as silence. Although secrecy can be used against you.

Maybe I have damaged the mental health of the psych workers in Montreal by laying my four years of hell at their feet. But it is true. It's not my fault I couldn't stop the war. It's the fault of the people who decided in their finite wisdom to take me someplace they had no understanding of. the whole time they tried to take me I resisted, I fought so hard to avoid being sent there. I never gave in. I was taken down by the cops, in a really violent way, and then just off and on spent time drugged to the gills in restraints with sexual offenders wandering willy nilly. I hope the Montreal psych system is happy with the war in Iraq, because in many ways they were responsible for it.